Advent Reflections 6: A Time to Lament

This post is the sixth in a series of weekly posts during Advent inspired by "Holy Boy", a choral nativity which we performed in Acomb on 21st December.

On Christmas Day, I reflected on the importance of joy as part of the Christian life, especially in the context of celebrating together as a whole community and sharing God's joy together. Jesus is born! Emmanuel - God is with us! Hallelujah!
But there is another side to the Christmas story which I want to reflect upon today, the day we remember the murder of the Holy Innocents. The choir that sang Holy Boy with songs of celebration also sang of a family pushed around by the Romans, forced to travel miles to their familial home town to be registered, and the children sang "Bethlehem is a Long Way", which includes the lyrics:

"Fools we are (to travel so far) but we can't stay. Please don't hinder us, we just obey, it's safer that way! We must go because that's what they say, and because what they say goes!"

So Jesus' parents and neighbours were familiar with the daily experience of being poor and powerless, then seeking a place to stay, though that was hard enough when everyone's house was full of other family members come to register as well. We don't know how long his parents remained in Bethlehem after the birth, but we do know that after the wise men came to visit, they had to leave secretly in the night to avoid the king's murderous intent. You get the feeling that while Mary was probably expecting the scandal associated with her pregnancy, difficult though that was, I wonder if she was expecting to flee in fear of her life?
Infanticide and refugees… There is a stark realism about the events in this passage. Truly Jesus shared the dangers and hardships that face so many in our world. Millions of our Christian brothers and sisters in the Middle East are refugees this year, fled from ISIS in Iraq and Syria or from violent persecution in other Arab nations. Egyptian Christians draw particular strength from the story of the holy family's flight to Egypt - the oldest church outside Israel, and many of today's refugees have followed the Holy Family in coming to Egypt for shelter. As we mark how Egypt became a place of safety for Jesus and his family, we are reminded of the call to us all to welcome and show kindness to the stranger (Leviticus 19:34).
But while Mary and Joseph fled to safety, every baby boy in Bethlehem was murdered. How do we respond to that? There is a song without words in Holy Boy, a lament full of wailing, mirroring Matthew's account of what happened:

“A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more."

But we have lost the art of lament. Western cultures are notoriously averse to pain and tragedy. While we have no trouble talking about sex, we seem lost for words when it comes to grief and death. In churches too, Christians are more comfortable singing in a major key of joyful praise, but less familiar with the minor keys of mournful despair. Friends suffering from depression often found it difficult to sing one song of praise after another with only about two songs in the canon which expressed their real feelings: "Abide with me" and Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name".
This seems strange when you consider the Bible's example: half of the Psalms are laments, Job meditates on the reality of undeserved pain and suffering and an entire book (Lamentations) is given over to mourning (together with much of Jeremiah and the other prophets). The Bible therefore gives us a voice for expressing our own pain and grief, and allowing us to connect with the sufferings of others in the world, if only we will take the time to reflect on the hard things written there and not just the easy ones.

It's fair to say that Christmas has been hard for my family this year, that we have fears as well as hopes for the year ahead, and that amid the joy we share together we need also to lament. We need to give each other permission to weep and yes, to be angry with God just as the psalmist shouted about his pain and grief. In Romans 12, alongside the command to "rejoice together in our confident hope" we are also called to: 

"Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep." 

So let us be ready to share the whole range of emotions, the joy and the laments, knowing that God is big enough for our doubts, fears and difficulties as much as our laughter and trusting hope.

The series finishes with a reflections on New Year's Day: Finding Our Purpose.

See also:

• LICC: A Day in Lamentations - videos and handouts from a Bible study day about the book of Lamentations and the art of lament. Highly recommended to explore this topic further.
• Wazala: News from the church in the Middle East
• Advent Reflections 5: Learning to Rejoice
• Advent Reflections 4: The Advent Antiphons